Categories
Poems

A thoracic study

Dear reader,
I feel a lump,
Behind my sternum,
Lodged in place,
Neighbour to the heart.

We had talked about,
How we were different,
But the unspoken truth,
That our love for each other,
Was not strong enough,
To overcome those differences.
An untruthful truth.

Dear reader,
What is this lump I feel?
It will not leave me be,
Right between my lungs,
Tight.

Categories
thoughts

A Man’s Diary, Entry #1: On self-acceptance and self-respect

What a journey it has been and continues to be. My first poems posted here shine a little light on some of my own transformations over the years, themes such as burn-out, losing faith in myself, and giving up, and trying to understand who I was at the time.

Then came along a beautiful soul who has an ability to untangle my giant knots of thoughts and provide me with a different yet accessible perspective. To grow, I learned, I really needed to address, with myself, my tendency for self-resentment, self-punishment, not accepting myself for who I am, not giving myself the respect and love I deserved. I’ve reached only the first step (i.e. the realization) and only after a lifetime.

Categories
Poems

Only Will

I gave up, friend
It’s a long story
But I gave up
The worst part of it is
Losing the spring in my step
Losing the fun in my heart.
Sparking joy out of nothingness,
I don’t have that anymore

I wish it were a spell
It’s a long story
The story is irrelevant

Now all I have left is will
I can will myself to live
To run with the rats!

I can will myself to forget
The story, reason
More at ease with the inevitable
Everyday complicity

But will alone leaves one hollow
Like an empty husk
I know what it is I lost
I cannot will it
Will is all I have

Originally written in early 2014